Mema lang putangina eh

If happiness had a physical form, what would it be? For I think it would be glass. It will look like it isn’t there but you’ll be able to feel that it is. Well, my glass has been broken for some time now and we all know what happens when you touch broken glass. I’ve felt like I couldn’t “feel” happy lately. Yeah everything feels fine and all but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something feels off. Whenever I see people who celebrate having really powerful bonds and relationships it makes me feel depressed. It’s my fault to be honest. People work hard to build those and for majority of my life I’ve only worked to burn bridges and not help myself build them. So yeah, whatever.


A very sad poem

Why do I feel so deserted,

even when I’m surrounded?

I’m king of an empty castle, 

sadness is my loyal vassal.

If I vanished into thin air,

I wonder, would anyone care?

I’ve been mocked and sullied,

Pushed around and bullied.

So if I faded tomorrow,

Who would feel the slightest sorrow?

Cast aside and thrown away,

I can’t help but feel this way.

If I ran, would you chase after me?

Be my glasses, help me see clearly.

Tell me to give life one more chance.

Show me I’m not a wrong circumstance.


Here’s my odd take on what it feels like to FIGHT for a friendship.

The longest wars will always have a significant impact on those involved. It can shape a nation’s culture, it can influence the way the people think, and each battle fought can create lasting memories for all those affected.

Now, think of how similar this is to fighting to build friendships.

You meet someone you could potentially be friends with, the war has begun. You start talking to each other occasionally, like a skirmish along the borders. You begin to learn what the other person likes and dislikes, much like when you strategize against a foe. You eventually make plans to hangout and set the date and time. The battleground has been decided. You take pictures when you meet up, a remembrance of the battle fought that day. A cycle that goes on until the war ends.

Regardless of which nation wins the war, the most relevant thing is how it affected the people. How much resources did you use? How many casualties were there? How has it influenced our country’s people and their way of life? How much has your time spent with each other talking and hanging out affected the friendship you were building? Have you forged a lasting relationship? 

Each skirmish you engage in, every second spent strategizing, and every battle fought will ultimately shape how strong your friendship will become.


Tact – noun

: the ability to do or say things without offending or upsetting other people.

Today a friend of mine compared me to a puppy. No, it wasn’t in a cute way. She told me I was gullible like a little puppy.  I had just finsihed telling her a story about how I helped a couple of new friends of mine with a certain problem but left myself out in the process. She told me I should make people happy when I know that I’ll be happy too. She also told me it was stupid that I gave too much of myself without keeping any.

From my perspective being selfless takes courage. Clearly, we do not share the same opinion. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and every single one should be respected to some degree. Think of your opinion as a sword, keep it sheathed everything is fine. Draw it and wave it at other people and someone is bound to get hurt. 

Most people don’t realize this but when giving “advice” to your friends you need to be extremely cautious about the way you word things. “The truth hurts. Deal with it.” is a common thing people say when they provide counsel to friends in need of it. Is it really the truth though or just your perception of what the truth is? What you believe to be true may not be the same for the person you’re giving counsel to. Being tactful when having a serious talk with someone is extremely important. The wrong words can cut deeper than a knife. You may feel like you are helping when in reality you are being destructive. The point is, be sensitive to what the other person may be feeling because waving your sword at them can cause serious damage.


I only met her for seconds.

We were going opposite directions.

Her colors were expressive,

A trait my mind found attractive.

She tossed a ball at me and I tossed it back.

At this point there was no turning back.

As I admired your colors, I showed you mine.

And I’m grateful that we got to despite the limited time.

It’s true what they say, big things do come in a small package.

Unfortunately, our game of catch has caused a bit of damage.

As I step back and keep the ball,

I see two smiles and three faces.

I promise I will hold these memories for ages.

Mended Bridges

Have you ever broken down one of your bridges to let another person’s bridge be repaired?


I burned our bridge when I broke my word.

Dishonorable, that’s what that was. I could’ve avoided this fall.

The way my mind works is a double-edged sword.

I search for meaningful conversations from all.

It’s my fault, I made our bridge crumble.

A bad decision reducing it to rubble.

I repaired a bridge with the pieces of mine,

I did this all with good intentions.

I hope that time would work as an anodyne,

I want our friendship back to a good condition.

From the debris rose a mended bridge so beautiful.

A relationship that will forever be meaningful.



Paragon- N.  a person or thing that is perfect or excellent in some way and should be considered a model or example to be copied

About a month ago, the team I was coaching began one last push to make it into the PGS for the upcoming split. In order to do so, we registered for an online tournament unknowingly violating a rule which would haunt us in the near future. The tournament itself was not difficult at all. In fact, we breezed through it. We were on a different level than everyone else. Better players, better analysts, every aspect of our team no one could come close to challenging us. We finally qualified for regionals and had a week to prepare for our first match. Our opponents were already familiar to us as we faced them in the final of the last tourney and yet we still planned everything thoroughly. 

The day of regionals came and everyone was in a great mood. Good vibes spread everywhere, a whole team in sync. I was anxious to see how good our opponents would be because as we inched closer and closer to the PGS the competition got more serious. 
As the default time of our match drew closer disaster came upon us. We were informed that we had violated a rule regarding our roster and that we would be disqualified from the entire tournament. I was speechless. As my team tried to scramble and plead to be let to compete in the tournament I sat there looking at their despair thinking to myself: “Fuck, is this it? We get beat by the system? No, please no.” 

The dream we were living in had become a nightmare. Everyone had mixed emotions, anger, disappointment, confusion, and sadness.

I felt helpless, unable to end the bad dream we were in. To come so close to conquering this huge mountain just to fall off at the end because one of our ropes snapped. 
Somehow I think we dug our own graves when we unknowingly violated a rule. We may look for scapegoats, blame other teams for foul play, blame the marshal for being an absolute moron. Ultimately though, I blame myself for not knowing the rule existed. I could’ve stopped this whole mess. I’m sorry.

I wish this fiasco does not stop the team from competing. I still believe they are the best roster here and that no one can challenge them. All they got to do is brush aside this setback and begin preparing to climb another mountain. And of course, I’ll be there to support them every step of the way.